最接近死亡的一刻

上個禮拜發現,血壓有點高,醫生建議去做幾個測試,其中一個是心電圖。

其他測試的結果沒問題,還差心電圖,今日去做。

結果出來後,lab 的員工好凝重咁同我講:“先生,千祈唔好走開,護士嚟梗接你。”

“咩事?好嚴重?”

“有四個跡象,全部中曬,護士會推輪椅上嚟接你落去,你要冷靜,千萬唔好走,走咗有事我地好難負責。”

嗰一刻真係晴天霹靂。心情就似一個去睇感冒嘅病人聽倒自己患上絕症一樣。

過咗一陣,有個護士推咗架輪椅上嚟,我坐上去,戴上幫助呼吸嘅儀器。

我感覺好不安,心底覺得,好似係我個心隨時會爆炸一樣。

“點解咁遲先做心電圖?上個禮拜已經睇完醫生。心係最重要嫁你知唔知?點解唔做先?”護士講。

我更加不安。

落到去,抽血,量血壓,問有冇頭暈,心痛,頭疼⋯⋯ 幾個護士喺我身邊走嚟走去,加上佢哋唔同我講咩事,超級不安。

“叫 lab 驗血,urgent case。”

等驗血報告然後睇醫生。護士說有頭暈頭疼心疼要立即搵佢地。

等驗血報告嘅時候如坐針氈,好似等梗我個心開始有事嗰一刻咁。

過咗一個鐘倒,有個姑娘好急咁搵我,我心想不妙,原來佢話之前我太緊張,血液不足冇得化驗。

結果又抽多次血,繼續心驚膽顫地等待。

開始胡思亂想:點解我咁後生就有呢啲病?點解我咁不幸?我仲有好多我想做嘅嘢未做,好多我可以幫倒手嘅地方我未幫⋯⋯

然後開始發覺,一直以來都好幸福,有家人,有女朋友,有朋友,大家都對我好好,做咗好多有好多人做唔倒嘅嘢⋯⋯

突然有一刻想祝福每個身邊嘅人,多謝每個身邊嘅人,就算嗰啲我唔熟嘅,都好多謝佢哋喺我生命出現過㐧,使我發現原來自己嘅人生好精彩⋯⋯

然後一陣安定的感覺,生死有命,一切已經唔係我可以掌握,放鬆去翻開神一早為我準備好嗰生命嘅下一頁。

終於看過醫生,醫生話,心電圖判斷我心肌梗塞,但係進一步嘅驗血報告顯示我一切正常,肯定排除心肌梗塞嘅危機。

然後我問醫生,我下個禮拜去旅行,仲可以去嗎?

醫生微微點點頭,笑說:“點解唔可以?”

今次我學到,最重要唔係賺幾多錢,做過乜勁嘢,有幾多人認識你,而係一直喺你身邊嗰啲人;同埋健康生活嘅重要性。

翻到屋企,踏入家門嗰刻,深呼吸一口氣,原來已經好幸福。

幸福一直喺你身邊,你只需要去發現它,然後珍惜它。

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Losing

“The thing I had to learn last year is a perfect plan doesn’t mean that it ends up the way you want it to end up. In the past, if you asked me what a perfect plan is, I’d be like ‘I get what I want, I get my dream, I play well’. Now I have a different perspective on what a perfect plan is. You don’t get better if you win all the time. You know, you get better when you lose. You improve when you lose. You look at yourself more when you lose. So if you learn a lot or if I learn a lot, if I grow a lot, if I become a better person through tough times, that’s part of His perfect plan, that’s part of His perfect will.”

Linsanity

Today I watched the film “Linsanity”, the greatest movie ever seen after 《激戰》 in recent months.

It talks about a no one striving against racism and fear of future uncertainty.

Jeremy Lin got fired 2 times within 2 weeks at the end of 2011 and he faced the farewell to his NBA career in the second month after being picked by the New York Knicks. Unlike any other stories, he didn’t believe in “never say give up” bla bla bla but he chose to believe in God and what he could do.

And he just did it. God had the best plan for him and he just waited until it’s time.

No matter whether you are an NBA fan or not, you should go and watch it. It’s great, and there are a lot of things to learn.